<!DOCTYPE html>
<html>
<head>
<meta charset="UTF-8">
<title>Silence by IRegretNothingAndEverything</title>
<style type="text/css">

body { background-color: #ffffff; }
.CI {
text-align:center;
margin-top:0px;
margin-bottom:0px;
padding:0px;
}
.center   {text-align: center;}
.cover    {text-align: center;}
.full     {width: 100%; }
.quarter  {width: 25%; }
.smcap    {font-variant: small-caps;}
.u        {text-decoration: underline;}
.bold     {font-weight: bold;}
</style>
</head>
<body>
<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/26555896">Silence</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/IRegretNothingAndEverything/pseuds/IRegretNothingAndEverything'>IRegretNothingAndEverything</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Series:</b></td><td>Muzzled [1]</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Video Blogging RPF</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Fluff, Human AU, Hurt/Comfort, M/M, Mentions of Muzzles, Weddings, except he chooses to be mute all the time, host is selective mute, mentions of abuse, mute character, muzzling a human being, selective mute character</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-09-20</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2020-09-20</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-06 08:55:13</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Teen And Up Audiences</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>No Archive Warnings Apply</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>1</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>2,680</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/26555896</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/IRegretNothingAndEverything/pseuds/IRegretNothingAndEverything</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>For the fifteen years that Dark had known Host, Host had never spoken a word.</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>The Host/Malfunction | Malik, Wilford Warfstache/Darkiplier</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Series:</b></td><td>Muzzled [1]</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Series URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/series/1931320</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>1</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>26</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>Silence</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p>This has been bouncing around my skull for awhile now, I needed to get this out to be able to keep writing Riverbank.</p>
    </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>They had met in sixth grade, when Host moved into their town from across the country. When Host had come in, long hair combed down his back and tugging the skirt he wore down as if it would hide the fact he was wearing one, Dark knew in that moment that they had to be friends with him. </p><p>Dark didn’t know why, or what drew them to Host in the first place. Host hadn’t spoke a word, despite the teacher asking him questions about himself. Host just stood at the front of the room, head down, hair falling into his face like he was using it to hide the bandages over his eyes. Dark didn’t know if that was truly the purpose, but the moment the teacher asked if there was a spare seat, Dark’s hand was in the air, and Host sat next to them. </p><p>They had met Mal and Wilford in high school, and Mal attached himself to Host, while Wilford would not leave Dark alone. Not that they wanted him to, but Dark wasn’t quite yet ready to admit that to anyone. The two of them had stood together against a lot of things, had their gender crisis back to back, and while Dark helped cut Host’s hair in their bedroom at two am the night before graduation, Host was the first to correct someone on Dark’s pronouns, hovering at their shoulder with a deadly grin if someone dared do it again. </p><p>High school was also the first time that Host had taken off his bandages in front of them, let them help clean up the mess underneath, though Dark didn’t get the story of it until college. </p><p>The two of them ended up going to the same college together, rooming together, though, with their room connected to Mal and Wilford’s room, Dark and Wilford ended up rooming together most of the time, even if, officially, it was them and Host. </p><p>Nearly fifteen years of knowing each other, and Dark considered Host their best friend, if they weren’t going the sweet route and saying it was Wilford to get him to smile. Fifteen years, and Dark didn’t know what Host’s voice sounded like. </p><p>Host had never spoken a word to them, to anyone, that entire time. At first Dark thought it was nerves, of moving to a new town away from everything and everyone, but as time went by, Dark saw how he purposefully kept himself silent. There were moments, Dark could see, where Host would light up, go to say something, before freezing for a split second, going silent again. Dark watched him struggle with it, before finally settling into that silence properly before freshman year. </p><p>Dark didn’t fully understand it, but said nothing. It was Host’s choice to make, after all, and Host had made it. However, communication wasn’t always easy. Host hadn’t learned sign language before going blind, which lead to many many nights of Dark teaching themselves sign language, and then carefully teaching it to Host, shaping his hands properly, while they sat on the floor of his bedroom, listening to a rock playlist Dark had found somewhere on YouTube. Even then, Host would stumble, drift into his own made up signs, that only Dark really understood. It was fine. Anyone who needed to understand him would put in that effort to do so. </p><p>Mal put in that effort. Dark had stood on the edges of their relationship, watching to be sure that Mal wouldn’t hurt Host in anyway, but wanting to give Host that space, and Dark had been witness to the first time Mal had correctly translated one of Host’s personal signs, the way Host lit up, grinning, uncaring that he had gotten braces three weeks before, and had all but launched himself towards Mal, squeezing him in the tightest hug, and Dark stepped back further. </p><p>Wilford had noticed it, of course. Somehow, he always did, and Dark denied everything, despite the knowing smile on Wilford’s face. </p><p>The point was, when Dark sat in their home office-currently they were all still sharing a home, having gotten used to each other’s presence, and also because they were all just a few years out of college, with varying levels of success on their careers-and Host stepped in, nervously fiddling with the ends of his coat-Dark had gotten him it as a ‘Good job getting out of your abusive family’s house’ present back in senior year when Host ran away from home to live with them, and Host had put it on and never taken it off-Dark just knew that something was going on in his head. </p><p>“What’s up, Host?” Host frowned, shaking his head and sitting carefully on the couch that Dark had put into the office a year before, when Wilford complained about not being able to sit with them when they worked, as if Wilford didn’t wiggle his way into their lap every time he came in. Dark sat for a moment, watching him, then went back to work. </p><p>Host always needed some time to think through things, get his mind on the right track, and so Dark left him to it, half focusing on their work, and half focusing on Host, just in case whatever he was thinking on brought his anxiety up too much. It was already elevated, Dark could see that easily enough, as Host fiddled with his bandages, slowly rocking back and forth, and Dark wondered if he just needed to unmask in here for a moment. </p><p>But no, Host still sat there quietly, fiddling with the bottom of his bandages-Dark idly wondered if they needed to be changed, but suspected they hadn’t bled at all today, so he should be safe-and rocked, head pointed in his directly. </p><p>Dark, half focused as they were, noticed Host open his mouth for a moment, then pause, closing it again. There were a few false starts there, and Dark found themselves actually getting nervous about this, as Host continued to rock and stop and start himself. </p><p>Nearly a half an hour of this passed before Host stopped rocking himself slowly, and swallowed. </p><p>“Host.... wishes to be able... to speak... at his wedding.” His voice cracked and broke, years of disuse doing him no favors, but Dark couldn’t help but grin at this, the forced silence broken after at least fifteen years. Dark pushed themselves from the table, walking around it to sit next to Host, draping an arm across Host’s back and tugging him into a hug, one greatly appreciated, if Host clinging onto them said anything about that. </p><p>“Well... you are one step closer.” </p><p>To be honest, Dark hadn’t expected the third person, but drew their own conclusions from it, as there were a few ideas he could think of. Host needed to ease into it, or maybe that was why he stopped speaking in the first place. </p><p>Still, either way, Host had spoken. It was cracked, quiet, and just barely a sentence, but it had happened. </p><p>The wedding Host referred to was his own with Mal. A year before, Wilford and Dark had eloped, with only Host and Mal as witnesses, and did eventually plan to have the extravagant wedding that Wilford, more so than Dark, wanted, but Wilford had really wanted to be able to call Dark his wifesband, and Dark had shared that sentiment. Mal and Host, on the other hand, despite actually getting their shit together before Dark and Wilford, had spent longer just dating, before Mal proposed with a necklace at two am on a random Sunday a month prior to Host speaking again. </p><p>As Dark understood it, the moment Mal proposed, Host knew he wanted to speak at his own wedding. It had taken a month for Host to work up the courage to come to Dark about it, and even then, still took time to finally speak again. Which lead to the inevitable question. Why couldn’t he talk? </p><p>Host curled himself into the coat, balancing his head on his knees as he pondered the way to explain it properly. He did a sign, a personal one that Dark hadn’t been able to translate, even after years of knowing Host, cupping both hands, one over the other, and pressing them over his mouth, frowning behind them. For a moment he paused, before setting his legs down to properly tell the story. </p><p>Part of it, Dark knew. Host, in fifth grade, had gotten into a car crash, a pretty severe one, with his family. They had all gotten out safely, alive, though it was the reason that Host lost his eyes. This is where Host continued the story, hands shaking. Before, Host would stop it here, rather abruptly, though, after meeting Host’s family, hadn’t had many questions about abrupt endings to stories like this. </p><p>When he had woken up in the hospital, Host had spoke, but it wasn’t right. He referred to himself in third person, and the doctors had explained it as a psychological reaction to trauma, one they couldn’t fix. When Host had gone home, his family had attempted multiple ways to get him to start talking in first person again, none of them good, really only worsening the problem. </p><p>Here Host paused again, doing the untranslated sign once more, before shaking his head and very slowly finger-spelling it out for Dark. </p><p>M-U-Z-Z-L-E </p><p>Dark felt their heart stop. Host continued on quickly, hands shaking as he explained. After awhile, they had found no way to get Host to stop, so instead, would muzzle him every time he spoke that way. The silence was preferred to the third person, and it would always end up getting back to them if he spoke at school, so Host just stopped. This was when they moved, to get away from the rumors of Host’s stilted way of speaking, and Host had met Dark. </p><p>Now, of course, Host was trying to get over that instinctual fear of being muzzled for speaking. Dark, not for the first time, felt near murderous rage boil inside their chest, and, rather than speak, dragged Host into another hug, clinging to him tightly, and Host clung back quietly, shaking. </p>
<hr/><p>It wasn’t hard to get Host into their office to practice. That was really all it was, after all, practice forcing the words out and realizing no one was going to muzzle him. Dark had been the obvious choice in Host’s mind, for this, as they had been around for a lot of Host getting over trauma induced fears. Mal, of course, had a day job, something Host was unable to have for multiple reasons, and Dark had managed to be able to work from home, so it was just a matter of waiting for Mal to leave, and then sitting inside Dark’s office with them, working on something himself and forcing small sentences here and there. </p><p>It wasn’t an every day thing, really only once a week, but Host began to grow more confident with it, even speaking outside the office once, though they were the only ones home when he did it. Each word he spoke brought just a bit more confidence to him, and Dark watched, as they usually did, as Host went from speaking minimal sentences, and sitting tense for nearly an hour afterwards, to being able to hold a full conversation, though a bit stuttering, up to the day of. </p><p>Host, consistent with who he was as a person, was anxious about it. Pacing through the office nervously, chewing on his thumbnail. </p><p>“What... what if Host can’t?” He asked softly, and Dark sighed, moving over to catch his wrist, so that Host didn’t end up chewing through his own fingers. </p><p>“Okay. Mal isn’t expecting you to, so it won’t disappoint any him, and it won’t disappoint me. Going from talking to just me to talking in a room full of people, even if it is people you trust, is a big step. If it means anything... I believe you can.” </p><p>Host let out a sigh, bouncing on his heels carefully, and nodded slightly. “Host can do it... He can do it...” </p><p>“Good. Now let’s go.” With their hold on Host’s wrist, they turned, dragging him a few feet.  </p><p>“Wait, wait, now?” Host stuttered, stumbling a bit to keep up with Dark. Dark chuckled softly. </p><p>“What? You think I’d let you sit in here anxious forever? I know how your head works, you’d talk yourself out of it. Of course I lied to you about the time. Not much, of course.” Host shook his head, managing to keep up with Dark, pouting. </p><p>“Jerk.” He muttered, and Dark laughed, managing to get a grin out of Host as they did, pulling him down into the backyard. Then, he passed Host off to Wilford, who grinned, taking Host’s hand carefully. </p><p>“Ready Hosty?” Wilford asked, and Host let out a sigh, before nodding. </p><p>There were exactly two people up at the alter other than Host and Mal. Dark, and one of Mal’s close friends, Marley. Dark hadn’t had much time to talk to him, but that was more their own fault. </p><p>It was beautiful, though small, and this was on purpose. They had, multiple times, vetted the list of people, to who Host could be comfortable speaking in front of. It wasn’t like they knew that many people in total anyways, even with the two of them, especially with Host’s family consisting of him, and Mal’s consisting of Marley. </p><p>The ceremony progressed with minimal difficulties, the only real interruption being Wilford unable to stop himself from kissing Dark on the cheek before sitting down again. Not that Host seemed to mind, as he bounced a bit on his heels, clinging onto Mal’s hands and just grinning, Mal smiling back, already tearing up. </p><p>As much as Dark wanted to pay more attention to Mal’s vows, Dark found himself focusing on Host, the little signs of nerves that he showed, still bouncing just slightly. Mal seemed to notice it too, but focused on the bright grin on Host’s face anyways. </p><p>Host pulled his hands away from Mal’s for his own, smiling softly as he seemed to prepare to sign, but paused a moment. Dark shifted, then carefully pressed a hand to Host’s back, and Host pressed just a bit against it, before smiling at Mal. </p><p>“Mal is... many things, to Host.” Mal’s eyes went wide, jaw falling open, and Dark couldn’t help but grin at the sight of it. Chancing a glance out towards the rest of the gathered, Dark saw similar expressions on the gathered. He caught Wilford’s eye, and the look on his face told them everything they needed to know. Dark set aside time in their head to be interrogated about this later, and tuned back to Host, but noted that he had already missed the rather short vows that Host had constructed, in order to have enough courage to say them all. </p><p>That was fine. Dark had helped draft them after all. </p><p>Mal seemed barely able to stop himself, and the moment they said ‘I do’, Mal was dragging Host in, hands cupping his face, barely able to stop grinning to kiss him. Dark hummed, turning to look to Wilford, as the total group of maybe twenty stood, Wilford moving up to stand next to Dark, intertwining their hands. </p><p>“How long?” </p><p>“Ehhh... Months? How long has it been since Mal proposed?” Dark asked, as if they didn’t remember. </p><p>“You two have managed to keep that-” Wilford gestured towards Host and Mal, who still had their foreheads pressed together, even surrounded by the others as they were. “-a secret this entire time? Jeez.” </p><p>“I mean it wasn’t that hard.” Dark leaned against Wilford slightly, smiling. “You two both have jobs after all, and we both work from home. It’s not that hard to come in when you’re both gone and just sit through it.” </p><p>Wilford pouted at that, before pointing towards Dark. “I still want whatever explanation you can give me.” </p><p>Dark grinned, kissing his forehead lightly. “Of course my love.” </p>
  </div></div>
</body>
</html>